Monday, 31 January 2011

Coming Out- Wegan's Story

Hello dear readers!

We've been asked a few times for advice about coming out, so we thought we would make a post exactly about that. We'll give you a short summary of our personal experiences and then dish out some advice for those still in the closet.

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Wegan Coming Out
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We both came out at roughly the same age. Whitney was 15 and Megan was 16. Funnily enough due to our 1 year age gap, this pretty much means we came out the same year (meant to be or what?!) Not going to lie, we both had bit of a bumpy ride (Whitney sadly more so than Megan). At first it was mainly our mothers that did not react well, but after time they slowly came around to accepting that this is who we are and that we can be happy. We love being lipstick lesbians (femme) but it doesn't mean that we hide being gay. As lesbians we are very proud, and as a couple we are clearly very proud as well. We feel it's important to be visible because we didn't have any positive lesbian role models to look up to when growing up and discovering our sexual orientation. From a young age Megan has always been into gay rights, so despite never looking like a lesbian, how anyone wouldn't know is surprising! We've both always been very secure with our sexual orientation and therefore have been out at school, to friends, family and work.

We want you to believe us when we say, it really does get better. Want proof? This Christmas Megan's mother bought us cushions with each others faces on. I kid you not!

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Wegan's Advice:

Not Ready?

No-body's forcing you to come out of the closet, only do so when you genuinely feel ready. This doesn't mean that you will no longer feel worried/ scared but as long as you're sure about yourself then that's the main thing that counts. Even if you're not 100%, if you have a best friend you feel you can confide in to discuss things through then that will help. Or even look to the internet for the LGB community to help.

Worried about coming out to Friends?

Come out to your friends which ever way you feel is best for you, whether it be face to face, email, txt, facebook etc. It's probably best to tell a few you really feel you can trust to see how you feel with people knowing. Remember it's not a little secret to be ashamed of. Be proud of who you are! As far as coming out to friends goes, we truly believe that if they don't accept you for who you are, then they aren't worth having as friends in the first place. There's plenty more great friends out there! Trust us.

Worried about coming out to Family?

As for family, we know it's different for each individual because their family circumstances may be different, but we do believe that time heals all. At the end of the day it doesn't change who you are as their daughter/son and they'll realise that eventually if they do not at first. If you've come out to friend but not your parents yet, then let your friends know if you're going to do it so they can be there for support whichever way it goes.

Worried about coming out to Work Colleagues?

Being gay at work can be tough, especially when you're the only one (or so you presume anyways). Some people feel coming out may affect the way their work colleagues interact with them or getting a promotion etc. We've both so far always been out at work, though it can be daunting when first arriving being with a bunch of heterosexual people constantly talking about their husbands/wives and kids. Straight people don't realise how they are technically announcing their sexual orientation when they simply mention what they got up to with their partner at the weekend. For gay people even mentioning this simple fact can be rather scary, especially if you're not sure how they'll react. If you're worried, I would wait a little way to find your feet at work, establish some friends and come out over time. You don't have to walk around waving a rainbow flag, but coming out has proven to be beneficial to not only yourself at work and your relationships with work colleagues, but it also effects your productivity and in turn is beneficial to the company. (To read more visit Stonewall).

The Continuous Cycle of Coming Out:

As annoying as it is, as a LGB person you never really will stop coming out, so you may as well start practicing early! We both end up quite often most days coming out to new people you meet, whether it be in starbucks on the bus or at work. Of course we don't mean go around introducing yourself as gay to everyone, but if it naturally drops into conversation then we don't see any need to hide it. We always judge a situation and the person first though. To test the waters we often mention 'partner' first of & then when they ask what 'he' is doing in the UK/Hawaii we reply with 'well SHE is...'

Ultimately, coming out is a personal and different to each individual, but you need to keep in mind that you're not alone. & it does get better.

If you have any questions or just want to talk to someone. Contact us anytime!

Wegan X

Friday, 28 January 2011

Gay Rights & Rants- Round 2


Unusually I'm back for a second time this week, as there have been events that cannot go past ignored.



Firstly there has been the horribly sad news of Ugandan gay activist David Keto being murdered on 26/01/11. It is reported that since The Rolling Stones newspaper list the 'top 100 gays' in Uganda, in which David sued them, he had received many death threats and he was too scared to leave his house. It is said that his death is not linked to his activism, but I find that hard to believe. Hundreds gathered for his funeral. R.I.P David, you brave man.


Following on from this, a lesbian (Brenda Namigadde) currently seeking asylum in the UK, is set to be deported back to Uganda; despite the knowledge she will be arrested upon arrival an most likely tortured and killed. It has been stated that
"An immigration judge found on the evidence before him that Ms Namigadde was not homosexual."
How they 'determine' how someone is truly gay is most likely to be flawed, and the fact she most likely IS a lesbian, then it is horrid they would deport her. Furthermore IF she isn't a lesbian, they will still think she is and she will no doubt be murdered as a result of homophobia. How is sending anything to their death right? News just in, she has been temporarily reprieved.


Sadly there is a continuation of homophobia with the Conservative blogger Richard Carvarth blog post about the blood ban on gay men. He had some unbelievably horrid remarks to make, and you really won't believe it until you read it. Though they are so disgusting and despicable that it's almost laughable. This post was written in November 2010 but has suddenly gone viral the past week, with some amusing readers comments it must be said. To read the full post click here, but here are some quotes:

"The ban on homosexual-perverts donating blood is an example of sensible and rightful discrimination."
"Given that homosexual-perverts are generally riddled with disease...as a result of their sodomitical activities, it is entirely right and proper that the National Blood Service refuses to accept their poisonous blood."
"As all right-thinking men know, we are sexually compatible with women - we are not sexually compatible with other men."
His views are clearly off the chart homophobic and sadly he justifies it due to religion:
"(2) I renounce every curse and evil word written and spoken about me here and elsewhere in the name of Jesus."
Despite his wish to be a Tory MP, I think he has (luckily) successfully shot himself in the foot here. You'd think perhaps he will take on board the criticisms he has received & reflect about his homophobic behaviour... You thought wrong, I stumbled across a lovely piece written by Mr. Carvath in 2009 where he had blogged similarly homophobic remarks and received lots of complaints, not only from the public but from newspapers and the police. He calls this 'heterophobia'... Some people will just never learn.

My friend Sarah (from love stories) has set up a facebook group against him, to join click here.

With some (sort of) good news,the first prosectuion under homophobic incitement law has been passed against two men for stirring up homophobic hatred through leaflets. Read Stonewall's response here.

Lastly with more positive news, civil unions look set to (hopefully) pass in Hawaii. YAY! There is still quite a few processes to go (through Sentate & then House). But perhaps Whitney & I can have our beach wedding there sooner than we thought ;)

M x

Monday, 24 January 2011

The 'Gay Agenda'


Well, well, just as I was retiring the rants for a round up of gay news, an explosion of homophobia happened today in the form of the Daily Mail. Now, firstly of course this is not very surprising coming from said newspaper, yet how somebody exists with these such views AND is allowed to publish them just blows my mind. For those who don't know, Melanie Phillips published her column here, in which she states the 'madness' occurring in education of children being "bombarded with homosexual references" in lessons at school.

This homophobic rant is a result of the initiative backed by the Department of Education (and available to download at the Schools Out website),to introduce lessons plans that are inclusive of LGBT people in an array of subjects. These are not compulsory but makes a good step towards introducing homosexuality in order to start to break down barriers and challenge homophobic bullying before it manifests.

Clearly, in Melanie's mind this can only mean disaster, as she damningly argues:

"Alas, this gay curriculum is no laughing matter. Absurd as it sounds, this is but the latest attempt to brainwash children with propaganda under the ­camouflage of ­education. It is an abuse of childhood."

Firstly, the use of 'brainwash' is not only insulting, it is also completely daft that by introducing homosexuality into lessons that one can be brainwashed into something they are not. As that's TOTALLY what happened to me with every single heterosexist lesson that I had to endure. Furthermore the fact that making students more aware of the world around them and to introduce tolerance and understanding as an abuse into childhood is absurd.

She even goes on to cite Section 28, which banned the promotion of homosexuality in schools, and down plays homophobia:

"What was once an attempt to end ­unpleasant attitudes towards a small sexual minority has now become a kind of bigotry in reverse."

Giving a rendition of where homophobic has not been allowed to succeed in recent years, Melanie believe that:

"It seems that just about everything in Britain is now run according to the gay agenda."

No lovely, it's called equality, and as they say- Some People Are Gay. Get Over It!

In Other News:

A Win For Gay Equality:


"We checked that the hotel would allow us to bring our dog, but it didn't even cross our minds that in 2008 we would have to check whether we would be welcome ourselves." The Guardian

The Christian owners of a hotel who turned away a same-sex couple from sharing a room have been found as acting unlawful. This comes under the Goods & Services Act 2007 that does not allow discrimination based on sexual discrimination. The owners argued it was their freedom to follow in their beliefs,that they would not allow any unmarried couple to share a room. The problem is, they are civil partners and consequently should be treated like a married couple. This has sent out a clear message that discrimination will not prevail in today's society. Just as black minority ethnic or Jewish people cannot be refused accommodation, neither should gay people.

Stonewall Cymru Youtube:



As the title suggests, Stonewall Cymru have launched their youtube channel, starting with 'It Gets Better, Today' videos by the four party leaders in Wales.

Portia De Rossi:


On a final note, I’ve just finished reading Portia De Rossi Degenerous’ book ‘Unbearable Lightness’. It details her battle with eating disorders and her sexuality… and of course ends in her love from Ellen saving her. It was an incredible, and heartbreaking, journey to follow her on. I recommend you to read it. It’s given me an even deeper admiration and respect for the love that Ellen and Portia share <3
M x

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Wegan Webcam

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Due to our time difference it can be often hard to find a time when we're both free to webcam but I love it when we do. Here's some screen caps :)

We signed on one day to find t hat I was wearing a Hawaii t-shirt & Whit was wearing a Cardiff one. Aw! <3

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Skype/ webcamming seems to work for everyone except us... we always have difficulties and I want to kill it haha!

Not Working...

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Still not working...

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.. SKYPE YAY!

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We like to blow each other kisses:

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This is from yesterday when the webcam froze on Whit's face, I couldn't resist taking advantage ;) haha

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It also froze on this hehehe:

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Lastly, how cute/ gorgeous/ beautiful is my girl?! Gah!

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Do you webcam with your lover? Any funny stories or pics? Submit if so!

M x

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Inspiring Quotes & Future Posts

Lately we have been sent some inspiring messages or quotes, so I thought I would share some with you.

From Facebook:

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Not an international couple hey? Love it!

This message we received on tumblr and it really meant a lot:

Whenever I feel down (which has been increasingly often these days) I'll go to your blog and tumblr and find strength in knowing that it is possible. It is possible to find that one person for you and once you do, nothing else will matter. Your love story helps me so much more than any “It gets better” video ever could because your love is authentic.


Click here if you want to read the full message.

We also received this great poem from one of our lovely followers:

"Thinking of You Everyday
People always have this to say
That distance will make love drifts away
If out of sight you have to stay
Out of mind it will be one fine day.
For me I know my love will never sway
No matter how many miles between us lay
Without you near the days may be grey
But this love inside me makes everything ok.
Love is not always as flimsy as they portray
Because when absence comes into play
The heart simply grows fonder without delay
I know mine does as I think of you everyday."


Lastly, thought I'd include this quote from our friend at Lacey In The City:

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We LOVE hearing from anyone who follows our blog so don't be shy- say hello! We want to hear from YOU! (Yes.. you! hehe).

Let us know if there's any topic YOU'D like Wegan to cover, or if you have any particular questions. Do not hesitate to pop us a comment, email or tweet us!

We're going to be working on a 'Coming Out' post, so if you have any particular questions for that- let us know!

M x

Friday, 14 January 2011

What Wegan Did Next: December 2010- January 2011...

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Megan here bringing you an update of what Wegan Did Next from 27th December 2010 until 8th January 2011. [Sorry, it's a LONG post again!] Whilst we missed the actual day of Christmas together, we still had a very festive time and got to bring in the new year together <3

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The day came and I was excitedly ready and waiting at the airport for Miss. Whitney to arrive (yes, with a red bow on my scarf). If you have watched our video you will see that all in all it took roughly 4 hours for us to finally leave the airport (!) but it was just great to be together again.

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We returned to my parents house and had a second type of xmas by opening presents we got from one another (must say I was very spoiled), and I surprised Whitney as she thought she was receiving no more presents as I bought her plane ticket. I made her another one of our Wegan calendars (our 3rd) & treated her and mother to afternoon tea.

Some of my presents from Whit:

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[Our First Night]

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[Our Emu & Uggs like to snuggle]

London & Afternoon Tea:

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[On the way to London]

We spent a lovely day going into London for Afternoon Tea. After recommendation from my cousin, I had booked the Haymarket Hotel and I was really glad with this choice. It was very girlie and nice and not too over priced.

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We started with rose champagne followed by many finger sandwiches; we were greedy and asked for more, which ended up in not finishing the cakes- awful!

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My highlight food wise was the chocolate eclair, it was seriously. the. best. ever! They also had scones with jam and clotted cream which is my mothers favourite <3

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Coffee Dates:

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It's safe to say that Wegan looooooove coffee. Whit gets a Starbucks every day in Hawaii, and so when I am there I live on that routine, and when ever Whit comes here I endulge in more take away coffee than usual. However it's left me with an all time high craving for a Starbucks or coffee#1. Damn youuuu! Going to get a coffee together is one of our favourite things to do though, to be all snuggled up and just sit down and chat <3

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[Too Cute!]

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[Clearly, we like cream!]
Wegan & Larry:

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The day before NYE we had a day out with my sister & her bf (who we call 'Larry'), and my younger sister & her friend. We went ice skating which was really quite a funny affair, considering how the skill to do so does clearly not run in our family. It was Whit's first go ice skating & she was SOOO good. It was only my 2nd go however and I was braver than I thought I'd be. Definitely gave us an appreciation for those who dance and do sports on the ice!

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Afterwards we went for a double date with Larry at a Thai restaurant- yummy!

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New Years:

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On NYE we went for lunch with our lesbian friends 'Emita', we swapped presents and was great to see them again and catch up.

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NYE was nearly cancelled due to Whit falling ill, however she was a true trooper and we ended up spending it with Larry and another couple. It's amazing how much fun a group of 6 drunk people can have, but many laughs were had :) We were just happy to bring in the new year together with a kiss. Bring on 2011!

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The next day we visited my relatives and had a lovely time continuing the festivities (we were even brought coffee, biscuits and presents in bed- too cute! <3)

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Cardiff:

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After spending over half of Whit's time here in the London area, we finally reached Cardiff and enjoyed a new sense of freedom away from the hectic time of seeing lots & lots of family. Admittedly we didn't get up to much to blog about but just enjoyed having dinner together, getting coffee after I had to work, seeing movies and drinking some nice winneeee. I hated that I had to work for 2 days when she was here for less than 2 weeks, though having cuddles in the morning & rushing out of work as I knew she was waiting for me was just the best feeling!

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Legalize Gay:

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We bought Legalize Gay t-shirts in Hawaii, but unbelievably had yet to have a little photoshoot in them to show them of. So as you can see.. we did just that!

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Tirty Titty Tart... Alright Butt?


These became the two phrases that Whitney picked up. & said alot. MANY TIMES! Haha. To put it into context (& to make some sort of sense), 'tirty titty tart' is said in an Irish accent and comes from the video that I did with my sister (vid above, 11.40 mins). We were (awfully failing) doing accents & my sister randomly came out with that phrase, which became a hit with Whit. The next one is a saying that is very Welsh (& so is said in a Welsh accent, Cardiff more specifically). It's almost a term of endearment between two men that goes 'Alright butt?'.. the reply.. 'alright' (vid, 11.13 mins). I guess we'll have to do it in a video for you one day to see what the hell I'm on about but let's just say it's 1) funny to hear an American do it and 2) hilarious Whit says it on repeat. Especially to people who have NO idea what she's on about!

Before we knew it, the day sadly came for Whitney to leave arrived despite our willing of time to slow down. No matter how many goodbyes we've done, it's safe to say that the moment always well.. sucks!

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[On way to the airport]

We recorded a little goodbye video so check it out :)



Upon returning to South Carolina on the 8th (pit stop to Hawaii), Whit got snowed in and a week later is finally just back to Hawaii! We're in plans for the next Wegan reunion, and will inform you when it's official... EEE!

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M x

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