Our Complete Fertility Journey and IVF Timeline (From First Consultation to Pregnancy)
It took us five years of trying to get pregnant. When we began our fertility journey in 2020, we no idea where to even start when it came to creating a family as a lesbian couple. What we did know is that we most likely had a long journey ahead of us but had no idea where the trying to conceive (TTC) journey would lead – which ultimately was to welcoming our beautiful daughter into the world in May 2025.
Our journey took us through fertility assessments, donor sperm, three rounds of IUI and two rounds of IVF before we finally saw those two lines we’d waited so long for. In this post, we’re sharing our complete fertility treatment timeline – what happened at each stage, what it cost us, what we wish we’d known and, ultimately, how we got pregnant. We hope this helps anyone who’s about to embark on fertility treatments, whether that’s due to infertility issues, as a lesbian couple, or any other reason. Hopefully by sharing our experience, it can help you feel a little more informed, prepared or less alone.
Our Fertility Journey Timeline
2020: First fertility consultations and assessments
2022: Three rounds of IUI
2023/24: First IVF egg collection and unsuccessful transfer
2024: Second egg collection and transfer of two morula embryos
August 2024: Positive pregnancy test
May 2025: Our daughter Olivia was born
IUI vs IVF: What do they mean?
Firstly, you may be wondering what’s the difference between IUI and IVF. IUI stands for Intrauterine insemination. It’s a simpler fertility treatment where sperm is placed directly into the uterus, around the time of ovulation. IVF means In Vitro Fertilisation. It is more of an advanced treatments that usually requires hormone injections and then eggs are collected (under sedation) and fertilised with sperm in a lab to create embryos. The embryo is then transferred into the uterus.
There’s also a big cost difference and success rate (however data for same-sex female couples is not separated out from those who have infertility issues, thus skewing the data).
Cost wise you’re looking at approximately £1500 per IUI and £8000 (based on our own experience of fertility treatments in the UK but these prices can vary depending on location, clinics and what’s included in the cost). On top of this is also the cost of donor sperm (if you’re using that) and for us we spent around £7000 on 5 vials of donor sperm and later purchased more. We’ve outlined costs in each section and provided a total of everything at the bottom of the FAQ’s on this post.
Did we self-fund for our Fertility Treatments?
We self-funded our fertility treatments due to not being offered funding on the NHS due to being a same-sex female couple. This is discrimination and we have campaigned and taken legal action for Fertility Equality. But that’s just a side note as this isn’t what this post is about…
First Stop on our Fertility Journey: Fertility Assessment
We decided the best place to start was to assess our fertility for both of us to see what would be the next best steps. Did we have time on our hands or was the clock ticking? The assessment consists of a baseline scan, which is a transvaginal scan of your ovaries to check their follicle count as well as a look at your uterus and to see whether there’s any abnormalities. While this is a scan that is particularly relevant for those who have struggled to conceive, it’s also a great starting point for a lesbian couple or single woman to identify if there are any potential issues before progressing. You also have an AMH (anti-Mullerian hormone) blood test, which essentially gives you a level of fertility and enables a prediction of the likely amount of your eggs that can be collected.
As I was 1 year older, we always thought that I (Megan) would get pregnant first. But we also knew everything could change the these results. For both Whitney and I we had very similar results, though mine were slightly on the lower side. The results were not great but it meant we still had time on our side. We decided to proceed with me trying to get pregnant first. Whitney was never sure that she actually ever wanted to get pregnant so this felt like the best way forward for us a couple towards motherhood. After these tests you then have a consultation with the doctor to plan the next steps.
Costs of Fertility Assessment and Consultations
Costs vary from clinic and location but we’ll provide the costs that we’ve paid ourselves. Our fertility clinic have a package for same-sex female couples and the cost for these tests were £420 GBP for AMH and baseline scan and £565 for comprehensive fertility assessment. (Honestly we’re a little confused what this all included but just going off our invoices).
We had to pay for another consultation in 2023 that cost £250 GBP and another fertility assessment for us both, which cost £565 GBP.
Total: £1800 GBP / $2438 USD.
Choosing our Sperm Donor
Not everyone going through fertility treatments will need a sperm or egg donor. In our case as a lesbian couple, we had one vital ingredient missing – sperm. Something we managed to successfully avoid our whole lives, we now had to find. So the next hurdle was deciding where and how to find a sperm donor. We knew that we wanted to go through a sperm bank as the sperm would be regulated with medical checks and most importantly for us, our rights protected as the parents. We looked into many different sperm banks across the UK, Europe and America. We started with UK Sperm Banks and personally we didn’t like not getting to see baby or adult photo’s of the sperm donors.
You can read more about how we chose the right sperm bank and why we ultimately decided on Cryos International. Once we had decided on our sperm donor, we had our vials shipped to our clinic in the UK, waiting in the freezer for us to begin treatments.
Costs of Sperm Donors
We initially purchased 5 vials/ straws of sperm (MOT10). Each one cost 1078 euros + VAT. There is also a Quota Reservation charge, which is the charge to legally ensure that the donor doesn’t exceed the amount of families that is legal in the country. This posts 350 euros + VAT for ID-release, meaning that Olivia. There is also a fee for how long you want the straws to be stored at the sperm bank. This cost us 476 euros + VAT. The total cost came to 6216 euros (approx £5300 GBP / $7200).
You also have to pay to have your sperm shipped to your fertility clinic and it cost us 321.60 euros to ship the sperm to our fertility clinic.
We have also purchased an additional couple of straws for lower MOT for 1612 euros and 1 year storage 160, total of 2216 euros. Every 6 months we’re currently paying 169 euros to store our remaining vials.
Current total spent on donor sperm and everything that comes with that: 8478.60 euros / £7267 GBP/ $9820 USD.
Getting my Body Ready for Fertility Treatments
In order to get pregnant I knew that I wanted to try to do as much as possible to improve our chances of success. This started with supplements and the right diet and nutrition. I reached out to fertility nutritionist Melanie Brown, who my sister used and had two successful IVF babies. I was put on a plan that Melanie catered to my health and needs, that included both the foods I should be eating and the supplements I should be taking. Warning: a lot of fertility supplements taste like poo. I really don’t know why or of that is a secret ingredient haha hope not. However the one fertility supplement that I would recommend (based on Melanie Brown’s recommendation, not tasting like poo and my successful pregnancy) and that is Ovum’s ‘Time to Conceive’ supplements. We have a 15% discount code for Ovum: WEGAN15.
I also had acupuncture before, during and after fertility treatments. I visited Daniel at the London Acupuncture Clinic in Windsor, who is incredibly knowledgeable and supportive throughout the whole process. Alongside acupuncture, I also did hypnotherapy sessions with Maureen Kiely. We also cut out a lot of products that might have harmful chemicals like scented candles, plastic tupperware, shower gels etc. Not to say any of these had a positive effect on becoming pregnant but for me it was a way to feel in control in a situation that is very much out of your hands.
IUI: Intrauterine Insemination
We decided to start with IUI due to not having any known infertility issues. This is the closest to conceiving naturally if you will, without any drugs, just timing it to ovulation. Before beginning treatment, I had to have a HyCosY done. A HyCoSy (hysterosalpingo-contrast sonography) is an ultrasound procedure used to check whether the fallopian tubes are open and to examine the shape of the uterus. A contrast liquid is passed through the cervix while an ultrasound tracks its flow through the uterus and fallopian tubes. This is normally standard procedure across fertility clinics in the UK. I felt a little annoyed that I felt forced to do it in order to proceed, as it makes sense for a heterosexual woman who’s had trouble conceiving to check if there are any blockages. However in my case – I’ve not even tried once to get pregnant. On the flip side it ensures that your fallopian tubes are given the all clear, you don’t want to find out later down the line that there was a blockage that could have been found at the start. Saving you money and heart ache trying to conceive (TTC).
However you do have to pay for this procedure if you’re going privately and also a speculum is used. I find speculums very painful and it was personally a rather painful experience (they had to try 3 different sized speculums because I have a long cervix). It was Covid times, so Whitney couldn’t even be with me and was waiting in the car in the car park – completely unaware of the pain I was enduring. However I don’t think she would have coped witnessing it! Anyways the good news is that no blockages were found, so we could proceed to IUI. Hooray!
We decided to delay beginning IUI treatments as due to the pandemic, Whitney couldn’t even be in the room with me when I was being inseminated. We couldn’t do home insemination, how we wanted to initially conceive and now that we were forced into a clinical setting, Whitney couldn’t even be involved at all! It just didn’t feel right that we couldn’t be together in such a big moment in our fertility journey. We therefore postponed any treatments until the rules eased up and Whitney could join me.
First IUI
Our first IUI officially went ahead in August 2022. You have to monitor your ovulation so that when it peaks, you can inform your clinic and they’ll tell you when you can come in. It was all very exciting and the smiley face on the ovulation stick almost feels lie a positive pregnancy test already! We were so nervous and didn’t know what to expect for the actual procedure so I’ll walk you through it. We were lead to a private room where we could both get changed. We were both given gowns to wear, mine was a hospital gown that you do up at the back and Whitney had a disposable theatre gown. We both also had theatre hats to wear, or bonnets as Whitney liked to call them. I wasn’t sure if I was meant to be fully naked so I took off both my bra and underwear haha but I double checked with the nurse and the bra could go back on. I was also given codeine to try help with the pain of the speculum. This combined with hypnotherapy (highly recommend Maureen Kiely Therapy) did help in the moment, as well as making Whitney squeeze my hand tight. My clinic also ordered in a different type of speculum that I had found that was meant to be more comfortable.
The embryologist brought out the sperm vial for me to confirm it’s the right one and then I got ready on the exam table with my feet were put into stirrups. The actual procedure feels like a long time whilst it’s happening but in reality it’s probably 5 minutes from start to finish. After inserting the speculum, the catheter is inserted into my uterus through my cervix and the sperm is inserted. Not going to lie, I still found it painful but one it was over, the pain went away immediately.
Now onto the nice parts of the IUI – you can watch on the ultrasound screen the exact moment that the sperm is injected into your uterus! You see a flash of white and off the spermies swim swim swim to find the egg that’s been released. It was quite surreal knowing I had 10 million of the swimming around me. But all we needed was one sperm and one egg to make magic happen!
Afterwards it felt very surreal walking around, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. We actually went for a pumpkin spiced latte as they has just come out (decaf for me) and then of course we had to have McDonalds fries after an IUI. Yes it’s a myth, and most likely zero correlation to success but where’s the harm in a little faith, manifestation and tasty fries? (My fertility nutritionist Melanie Brown did not condone this haha, sorry Melanie!)
The Two Week Wait:
The Two Week Wait (TWW) refers to the time period that you have to wait from having an IUI or embryo transfer until you can test to see if you’re pregnant. It feels like the longest time of your life and you’re analysing every single symptom. During the two week wait the craziest thing happened – we took a taxi ride and the Uber drive asked if I was pregnant and to be slower over bumps. He said he basically was psychic and picked up on me being pregnant… could it be true?!
Pregnancy Test:
So you’re meant to wait 14 days until doing a pregnancy test… did we do that? No! Haha. It is far too tempting and we started testing 6 days earlier than we should have. We couldn’t believe our eyes when the pregnancy test said pregnant! We were in shock and SO happy! We expected a long journey ahead. Surely it was too good to be true to be this easy?…
Unfortunately it was too good to be true and a couple weeks later I was sadly no longer pregnant. I had what is called a ‘chemical pregnancy’, essentially a very early miscarriage. Most people wouldn’t even know they were pregnant and would just think their period had arrived. We were devastated and to be honest it really affected the rest of our journey. It made us very anxious to trust another positive test again.
Second round of IUI
We continued with IUI and the second IUI took place on 27th October 2022. This time round we knew what to expect and I opted to try valium this time to see if it helped to relax me and ease the pain. I also randomly listened to the sound of cats purring in my AirPods as well as doing my hypnotherapy techniques. Yes – very random but I gave my cat a cuddle before leaving and the sound of her purring calmed me so it gave me the idea to try it. Why not hey? It all helped to a degree and it was over very quickly. Of course afterwards I had to get the McDonalds fries!
We were back to the TWW and it was finally time to test. Ok well we tested from day 11 and I felt SO nervous. Unfortunately it was negative and we kept testing, hoping that maybe it was just too early to test… We kept thinking we saw faint lines (we even took one pregnancy test apart to get a better look) but alas the round was unsuccessful.
Third round of IUI
Third times a charm? Or so we hoped! It took place on 13th November 2022. This time I tried codeine again, can’t remember why and I skipped the McDonalds Fries and Whitney cooked me a really healthy meal. We started to test from day 10 and despite thinking we saw a faint line, it was sadly not a successful round. After this round of IUI not being successful, I must admit I started to get upset and envious at everyone posting pregnancy announcements online. They appeared to be everywhere! We always said that we’d do 3 rounds of IUI then onto IVF. So onto the IVF journey we went…
Cost of IUI
IUI cost £1150 GBP x 2, and £1265 GBP x 1 / $1714 USD.
Progesterone suppositories: £90 GBP
Rubella blood test: £50 GBP
Total cost of 3 x IUI: £3705 GBP / $5019 USD.
Our IVF Journey begins:
After three rounds of failed IUI, we embarked on IVF treatments. Next came lots of injections to get my body ready to have eggs collected. These are called STIMS (ovarian stimulation) injections. The injections were very daunting to begin with. We decided that Whitney would do the injections but when she came to do it, we both freaked out haha! We decided that would be better if I injected myself and Whitney pinched my belly fat to do the injections. This soon became our new normal and it was no longer scary. I also didn’t bruise that badly at all. We had some funny moments doing injections – such as in the toilets when we were in the Houses of Parliament for Lesbian Visibility Week or at the DIVA awards.
I did a long protocol, which means a longer duration of doing injections and then it was time to do the trigger shot. This is the shot that releases all your egg ready for collection! Must admit this shot was a little bit more painful that the others. Then within a couple of days, it’s time to go get the eggs collected.
Egg Collection for IVF:
After the Trigger Shot, eggs are released and then you go into the fertility clinic within a couple of days to have them retrieved under sedation. You can’t wear makeup, deodorant or perfume to go for the collection. Whitney was looking forward to me coming out all loopy and funny but for me that wasn’t the case – I woke up angry! Don’t know if anyone else has had that experience?
We were hoping for 7 eggs to be collected and 5 good ones..
From our first round we only had one embryo that was potentially viable but not to the degree that to was recommended to be transferred. But it was ultimately down to us and we decided to give the embryo transfer a go and give our baby a chance!… The two week wait felt so long and unfortunately it was unsuccessful.
With no embryos left, we had to do another egg collection. Our doctor changed my protocol and I did a shorter one this time, with 3 injections per day. We went into this round a lot more hopeful and relaxed, just tried our best not to stress. We had more eggs collected and it looked really positive that we may have a few viable embryos. The next day the embryologist called to update us – we had 6 mature eggs, with 4 embryos, possibly 5! A couple days later we were updated that all 4 embryos still looked on track and one embryo was still in culture. At this stage they don’t expect all embryos to reach blastocyst stage, but we were feeling hopeful we would have one for a fresh transfer and maybe one or two to freeze.
However when we arrived for the transfer, our embryologist told us that she didn’t have good news. I (Megan) immediately started crying. We were told we just had a couple of morula’s, meaning that they aren’t at the blastocyst stage that they would like them to be at (FAQ explaining these terms are at the bottom of this post). We were therefore recommended to transfer two morula embryos… this could means TWINS! The hope is that they will continue to develop and will reach blastocyst stage the next day, enjoying their nice new warm cozy home in the womb. We agreed to proceed and had everything crossed. I kind of secretly wanted twins. Unfortunately the next day we were updated that we had no viable embryos to freeze, so we had everything crossed that this round would be successful otherwise it would be right back to square one. After the transfer we decided to give the McDonalds fries a go again and then had a warm dinner of homemade soup. The two week wait felt like forever and ever… and finally it was time to do a pregnancy test.
Testing Positive – We’re Finally Pregnant!
To our absolute delight, we finally had a viable pregnancy at the end of August 2024. Finding out that we were pregnant after so many years, injections and tears was one of the happiest moments of our lives! What’s hilarious is that Whitney misread the pregnancy stick (seeing as some brands do lines done and others do a cross) and thought it was negative!
We weren’t prepared for how many different pregnancy tests we would try and how many we would do. I kept testing to ensure that the pregnancy line was getting darker, rather than light like it did with my chemical pregnancy. We were very anxious, trying not to get our hopes up too high in case something went wrong. So while we were very excited and happy on one hand, we also couldn’t quite let ourselves truly feel that way.
We discovered Ovum’s Early Detection Pregnancy tests and loved that they are highly sensitive to hCg, accurate and the first pregnancy tests to be recyclable. With the amount of pregnancy tests we were going through, it felt good to know they’re not going to end up in a landfill (though we kept a lot of our positives tests in a box). We have a 15% discount code for Ovum: WEGAN15
Cost of IVF
IVF per round cost: £6295 GBP / $8528 USD.
Medication per round cost: £2309 GBP / $3128 USD.
Progesterone suppositories per round, taken after embryo transfer: £120 GBP / $162.
Cost per round: £3724 GBP /
Total cost of IVF including egg collection and medication: £17,448 GBP / $23,628 USD.
Early Pregnancy Scan
After you test positive, you normally have a scan at your fertility clinic around 6-7 weeks and this is to check for a heart beat. This scan is done transvaginally and they’re looking at the gestational sac and double checking that the embryo is in the uterus and there’s no risk of an ectopic pregnancy. They’re also assessing the growth of the embryo and if there’s more than one baby. We had two transferred, could there be twins?!
Waiting to know if there’s a heart beat for the first time is beyond nerve wracking and it felt like a lifetime. To our absolute delight a heartbeat was confirmed! Another step towards hopefully having a viable pregnancy. The nurse scanning us then wasn’t sure if she could see two sacs, which could mean two babies!! Someone else came in to have a look and they also couldn’t determine if there was one or two sacs, however they could only see one heartbeat. At this stage when they’re so tiny, there’s still a possibility that there is a second baby. I had to go back for a few scans to see and I was truly hoping that there would be twins. We also went for a private scan that had higher definition equipment. Alas the second sac disappeared, there was not two babies. Of course we were over the moon to be pregnant, but to know that the second embryo may have implanted but didn’t last still hit me harder than I thought it would. I think I even grieved a little and as time went on, I came to accept and be happy that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with one baby. & now that we have our baby girl – wow are we lucky!
On that note I think I’ll end this blog post here and continue the pregnancy journey in another post. If there’s anything from TTC that I’ve missed or any questions that you have, please pop them below.
FAQ
What does IUI mean?
IUI means Intrauterine insemination. It’s a simpler fertility treatment where sperm is placed directly into the uterus, around the time of ovulation.
What does IVF mean?
IVF means In Vitro Fertilisation. It is more of an advanced treatments that usually requires hormone injections and then eggs are collected (under sedation) and fertilised with sperm in a lab to create embryos. The embryo is then transferred into the uterus.
What does STIMS mean?
STIMS are the ovarian stimulation injections and they stimulate follicle growth. Every person is put on their own protocol as decided by your consultant as to whether you do a short or long protocol.
What does the Trigger Shot mean?
The Trigger Shot takes place when the follicles should have reached the right size. The Trigger Shot matures the eggs to then be collected.
How are Eggs collected for IVF?
Injections are prescribed (STIMS and then the trigger shot, as outlined above) and then egg collection takers place under sedation at a fertility clinic.
What is the Two Week Wait?
The Two Week Wait (TWW) refers to the time period that you have to wait from having an IUI or embryo transfer until you can test to see if you’re pregnant. It feels like the longest time of your life and you’re analysing every single symptom.
What is a morula v. blastocyst embryo?
A morula and blastocyst are both early stages of embryo developments but a blastocyst is more developed. Many fertility clinics prefer to transfer a blastocyst and often grade them as well. We are proof that morula’s can lead to a baby!
What is a Fresh vs Frozen Embryo Transfer?
A fresh transfer is when an embryo is transferred a few days after the eggs have been collected, typically around 5 days but in some circumstances it can be as early as day 3. A frozen embryo transfer (FET) is when an embryo has been frozen from a previous egg collection and then is thawed in order to be transferred. There is a risk that the embryo will not serve the thawing process, though success rates for both methods are similar.
What is an Ectopic Pregnancy?
An ectopic pregnancy is when the baby isn’t growing in the uterus and instead is typically growing in the fallopian tube, which is dangerous and unfortunately not viable.
How many rounds of IVF did you have?
After three rounds of IUI, we had two rounds of egg collection and IVF before successfully becoming pregnant.
Who carried the baby?
Megan is the one who got pregnant and gave birth to our baby. It just so worked out that Megan wanted to get pregnant and Whitney didn’t. We often find this dynamic in lesbian couples wanting to have a baby.
Are you both Olivia’s mums?
Absolutely. Although Megan carried Olivia, we have both been mums from the very beginning.
Will you be sharing your birth story?
Yes! We’ll soon be sharing our full birth story, including induction, emergency C-section and our first moments meeting Olivia.
Is there a dad?
No there is no dad, there’s two mums and a lovely donor who kindly donated his sperm.
Did we self-fund for our Fertility Treatments?
We self-funded our fertility treatments due to not being offered funding on the NHS due to being a same-sex female couple. This is discrimination and we have campaigned and taken legal action for Fertility Equality. But that’s just a side note as this isn’t what this post is about…
How much did you spend on IVF/ TTC?
Fertility Assessments and Consultations: £1800 GBP / $2438 USD.
Donor sperm: £7267 GBP/ $9820 USD.
IUI: £3705 GBP / $5019 USD.
IVF including egg collection and medication: £17,448 GBP / $23,628 USD.
Grand total: £30,220 GBP / $40,950 USD.
Did you give birth privately?
Yes we gave birth at the Lindo Wing in London. Let us know if you want to hear about our experience and break down the costs?
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