Real Life Lesbians: Interview with Courtney Beck

Long over-due, following on from our interview with Jo Webber, we interviewed Real Life Lesbian Courtney Beck. The idea of these interviews is to hear a bit more about the lives of lesbians, and what being 'out & proud' means to them.

Courtney is running a social media project of 'Reasons To Date Courtney Beck- she is trying to find all those lovely single ladies out there. Oh & she's got a brilliant Aussie accent ;)

Her blog is here, follow her on twitter, watch her on youtube & say hello! Who knows.. maybe we'll get her a date ;)


Courtney! Thanks so much for taking part in the RLL interview. Hope you're sitting comfortably as we're going to fire some questions at you...

1. At what age did you realise that you were gay?

I was 20, and up until that point I was an absolute man-eater. I remember my Dad sitting me down and suggesting I go to counselling because he thought I had commitment issues. I said to Dad that I didn’t know what it was, but boys just bored me. I then met a guy called Andrew who I thought was the perfect guy for me. He was a swimmer, drop-dead gorgeous, really attentive, very sweet, and still I wasn’t overly interested. Anyway, I decided that because he seemed so awesome that I needed to at least give it a shot, so him and I saw each other for a few months.

There was one night that him and I were making out, and one of my hot girlfriends from University popped into my head and I was way more turned on by the image of her than I was by Andrew. It was at that point that I realised that perhaps I wasn’t as straight as what I thought I was. I then turned to the web to investigate what life could hold for me if I was actually gay.

2. When did you come out and how did your friends and family react?

Through my investigations on the web, I actually met my first girlfriend Megan. Coming from a small country town in Australia, it’s not the sort of place that is ideal to come out. So I started by telling my little sister Chloe who is six years younger than me and she was fantastic about it. I then told my parents, who were also really good and very supportive of my happiness. I remember actually telling my Mum on the way to a University hiking trip, which would take me out into the wilderness for 8 days straight. Mum was driving me along a winding road alongside a cliff-face to take me to the spot where we started the hike. I calculated I had about 15 minutes left in the car with her, and the conversation went a little something like this:

“Mum, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Oh god. You’re not pregnant, are you?!”

“No, I’ve met someone.”

“Oh wow! What’s he like? What’s his name?”

“It’s not a guy. It’s a girl.”

Mum nearly swerves off the road… I jump out of the car and disappear into the bush for 8 days. It was brilliant! Anyway, luckily I’d already told Dad and he managed to settle Mum down while I was away, and all was well.

It was quite a while before I told my friends that I’d met a girl, and I actually had to move states (a two hour plane trip) to give things a shot with Megan, so I told them after I’d moved. Funnily enough, when I told the hot girlfriend from Uni (the one I’d fantasised about while with Andrew) that I was gay, her response was:

“Why didn’t you ever hit on me? I would have gone there with you.” Talk about missed opportunities!

3. Why is it important to you to be out and proud as a lesbian?

It’s a big part of who I am. I think as human beings were born to this earth to do the things that we love, and whom we chose to love forms a big part of that. I’ve always been very lucky to have supportive people around me who accept that my partner will be a woman. I can’t imagine not being out and proud, I want people to know me for exactly who I am and my love life is a big part of that. I’m also a big believer though that the more ok that I am with myself, the more ok other people will be with me the choices I make. I never make a big deal of being gay; I’m just the same as everyone else… I just prefer to have a female partner.

4. Do you think that there is a lack of lesbian role models? If so, Why?

As a femme - yes. One of the big challenges when I did come out 10 years ago was that I didn’t want to be associated with the stereotype of being gay. I think I would have been a lot more comfortable if I knew that girls like me existed. Being a femme is a double-edged sword I think because we’re invisible really to the general population. People just assume that all gay girls have short hair and look butch, which is not the case. There are many of us heel-wearing, lingerie-loving girls out there… you just need to know where to look.

5. Any thoughts on being a ‘Real Life Lesbian’ and helping fill the lack of role models/ raise lesbian visibility?

I would actually really like to work with teenagers on coming out. I think it’s really important to have good role models, and to know that there are many kinds of gay women out there. Kids out there to know that being gay doesn’t have to define you, it’s just a part of who you are.

Working in Advertising I joke with friends quite a lot that the lesbian community needs a really good ad campaign and PR re-vamp. We really need to start showing the world the complete picture of gay culture, and the people who make it up… not just one slant. (I don’t the media helps with that!)

6. Do you have any advice to those struggling with their sexual orientation or fearful of coming out?

Do what makes you happy. You’re on this earth to do what you love, so you may as well do that with the people that you love.

There will always be people who will want to cut you down, and who think they know what’s best for you… and that will happen in your career, and also in your love life. What you must remember is only you know what makes you happy. There is a great quote from Dr. Seuss that sums this up perfectly:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” – Dr. Seuss

7. ‘Reasons to Date Courtney Beck’- Why did you set it up? & tell us all about it!

Ahh my blog! Reasons to Date Courtney Beck started out because I just wanted to meet more girls like me. I’ve always had the theory that other femme girls out there exist we’re just invisible on the streets. I turn 30 next week, and ideally I’d like to meet someone to share my life with. Not being one to take a back seat to life, I decided to put myself out there and try and find these girls in the hope that one of them could be the girl for me.

What started out as a small social media experiment has ended up becoming a blog about my dating life that is now read in 53 countries? Girls write into the blog and tell me why they think we’d hit it off on a date, and then potentially we’ll actually go out on a date.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet some really amazing women who have become great friends, and there have also been a few girls I’ve been out with on dates. I definitely feel like I’m getting a lot closer to meeting ‘Fireworks girl’. Fireworks Girl is the one I feel will set off the fireworks in my heart. I think the writing style of my blog is a bit of a mixture of Sex and the City, with a healthy dash of Seinfeld.

8. Anything else to add?

Thanks very much for having me on ‘Real Life Lesbians’! I really respect you two and what you do with your blog, and what you’re doing for our image out there. And I think I’ll have a glass of champers when you two finally manage to start your life together in the same country. ;)

Our pleasure Courtney, we love your answers- & yes please do have a glass or two of champers when that finally happens, woo! We hope our folloers enjoyed this interview, let us know your thoughts!

Also, we hope today brings you all some good luck!

Have a great weekend!

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