Long Distance Loving: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

As we come to an end to our LONG stretch of LONG distance, we thought we would round up the good, the bad and the ugly of doing long distance.

Most people warn you off doing long distance, "it will never last" they say. Well we're here to tell you, yes, yes it will! Want to know why? Because we love each other enough to put in the effort to make it worth. Want to know why others don't last? Because they don't do that. Whitney & I have always had the most strongest and deepest love for one another and share a bond unlike most couples that we meet. Despite the distance and cultural differences we MADE it work. It didn't just work out by chance. But lets run through the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good

  • You get to visit new and different places! Whether you're different ends of a country or countries apart, you're guaranteed to learn more and develop as a person by traveling and being apart of different places.

  • You get to miss one another!! The feeling of knowing you'll be seeing each other again is like no other. The butterflies and excitement still continues 4 years later!

  • If you're a trans-atlantic like us, you get to travel and see the world, experience new cultures and learn new things you wouldn't ordinarily do.

  • Your love grows stronger, you learn the important rules of communicating and making sure each other feels loved regardless of what is happening in your life.

The Bad

  • Whilst traveling has it's perks, having to do it so much over year becomes a chore when you have to go through the same routine of checking in, security and customs, changing flights, waiting around in airports etc etc. It soon becomes routine rather than novel and new.

  • Missing one another like hell and there is nothing that you can do about it. Nothing that a phone call, e-mail, text, picture or Skype comes close to when you just need a kiss and a cuddle. 

  • Missing out on the little things that every couple gets to do, whether it be movie dates to the small thing of grocery shopping or buying a new outfit and wanting to show off. What's the point in getting my hair done if she can't see it?!

  • The money, ooh is it expensive to make a long distance relationship work!!

  • The clash of cultures and lack of understanding, where a simple misunderstanding of how one family operates to how different a word is pronounced can seem so confusing.

The Ugly
  • The fights. Ooh we've had some big and bad ones that's for sure. The distance only makes them worse and prolonged when a hug would have solved the situation long before.

  • Visa and immigration. Ooh lordy is this the UGLY side to LDR. As if the miles and time apart weren't enough to deal with, you also have immigration governing how long you can stay in each others company. Not only this, applying to move to another country is a BIG and daunting project. You might think it's obvious you two should be together but then this all comes down to an Entry Clearance Officer who decides you fate. May 2011 we were very unlucky, June 2012 we were very lucky!!

  • Whilst we're on this topic, this leads nicely to gay marriage and the law! Having a long distance relationship with an American makes it just that extra bit harder when you're gay due to the lack of immigration rights to same-sex couples. Not only are there ONLY 8 states in America that allow gay marriage, only one of them allows out of state marriage and NONE of them apply to immigration. Therefore the only other way that it would ever be possible for us to live in America with the way things are would be if I were to somehow get sponsorship from a company who would have to prove that there is NO-ONE else on the USA that they could hire for the job. It would also take at least half a year and lots of money, all the while I would not be allowed to visit USA! So all in all, THANK YOU BRITAIN for having civil partnerships in place. Whilst we may be getting gay marriage in a few years to come, I'm just glad that we have a system that recognises and legitimises same sex relationships.  

Starting out we had NO clue what lay ahead or the twists and turns that it would take. We didn't realise how HARD it was going to be and how LONG it would take to live our lives together like we were meant to do all a long. Despite the difficulties to long distance, we would never go back and change a thing. It's lead us to this very point of where we're meant to be. Waking up together and going to sleep together, and finally truly experiencing all the boring parts to a relationship from grocery shopping to putting the bins out. 

Hello LIFE and LOVE!


Have we changed your mind about long distance relationships?

Are you in a LDR? Anything to add- good, bad or ugly?

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