Saturday, 6 April 2013

Megan + Her Hand- An Update!

This is a subject that I thought I would never write about once, let alone twice. However, without meaning to, the blog post ‘introducing’ you to my hand aka disability has become one of our most popular blogs. It also pops up when you begin to search Google for ‘what wegan did next’. Therefore it seems to be a topic that many people are intrigued about; whether that’s just a result of general intrigue to know what all the fuss about it I do not know. What has arisen out of it was something that I was not expecting at all… and that’s messages from our followers who also have a disability. Not for one minute did I think that by sharing a part of me to the world that I’m not very confident about, that it would in fact give others confidence about their own disability; whatever it may be. So I want to thank all of you for confiding in me and for being so brave. It means more to me than you can possibly know. I don’t think I could ever fully express it, but please know that it truly touches my heart.

megan-evans-hand

It’s amazing how far I have come over the past few years. I can remember at the age of 18 crying when professionals had to look at my hand for assessment purposes. I remember at the age of 23 of wanting to go hide in a hole when I was having to pack my groceries away in Tesco and was conscious of being too slow for the ever growing line. Feeling frustrated on my 10 minute walk home from said grocery shop with too many heavy bags and struggling to make it up the hill. Now that I’m 25 going on 26, I notice more and more the frustrations I have as a result of my disability. There are still times when I’m more annoyed by it than ever before. When I can’t use the weights at the gym, or do the same activity as everyone else in the circuits fitness class we regularly attend. My right shoulder getting tired from driving with one hand, and not being able to drink my take away Starbucks along my journey for fear of crashing the car- or simply taking my hand off the wheel to scratch my head! I still get upset by it, oh yes. I know that there are many out there with far more disability, and they cope amazingly. I’m in awe of those people. However I’m still amazed at how far I have come. That I can write this post without crying. Or that I can write it at all. It feels good. I’m still scared to put this part of me out there. I’m still waiting for the coward anons with their hateful words (although Whitney will still beat them up, with a team of you out there by the sounds of things). I can handle anyone saying negative comments about my sexual orientation. I cannot handle it about my hand. However, one lovely lady said to me recently when I confessed this- that it is worth a few hateful anons in order for the good to come out of it; to be an inspiration to others. It’s something I thought I never would be.

megan-whitney-hand

I’ve always strived to change the image of lesbians as being feminine, although it appears that I have inadvertently become an image for something else- a girl who is like everyone else and just so happens to have a disability. I’ve never embraced this part of me, and I still do not yet fully. I admire, and I’m slightly jealous, of people like Sarah Herron.

sarah-herron
source
Born with only one fully formed arm, she rejects being labelled as disabled (as do I, though I do say I have a disability as opposed to being disabled) and she absolutely flaunts her fabulous self- arm and all. As you can tell, I still hide my hand from my pictures and videos and this is the first time fully posting pictures with my disability. Perhaps one day I can get better with the visible side of things, but until then- this is a big change. A feeling of pride- of realising I have managed to make the most of what I’ve got and at least being able to write it.

Oh and by the way… I never fully introduced you to my hand properly….

Introducing you to…

Handy!



Turns out, a lot of people actually have a name for their disability and since I can ever remember, it has always gone by the name of Handy! It’s how my family and wife refers to it (though Whitney tries to claim it’s a ‘she’ not ‘it’ or ‘he’). I don’t feel comfortable labelling it as ‘it’, ‘he’, or ‘she’- just Handy!

Thanks for all your ever continued support. Stay strong!

Love
+ Handy


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42 comments

  1. This made me cry. You're amazing, & so dignified. I've followed you from the start, & I'm proud of you. You do more for your followers than I think you'll ever know.

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  2. Dear Mrs. Wegan,
    Someday I hope there will never be labels for ANYONE, and the only "disability" will be cowardly bullies and negative people.
    Your Weganers will love you, no matter what. (I will personally drive my big-assed Lorry over anybody who gives Our Wegan any crap).

    Best Regards,
    Your Weganer, MaryB

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    1. Thanks Mary <3 You're a great Weganer, & lets hope we don't need you in that big-assed lorry one day!

      M x

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  3. Yet another brave post, and cheers to you for having the courage to write it. xoxoxo

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  4. Your hand is SO beautiful :'( ! A MEAN person to me is called one with disability sweet soul! God bless you both and your LOVE~~

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  5. Love Handy! I told Kaylee the other day, I never even noticed Handy until you pointed it out to me one day. I had read your original post before meeting you, and even when we met, I still didn't notice it. It's funny how some things that affect us deeply, aren't even noticed by the people around us. You are incredibly brave and inspiring for putting this out there, but I do hope you know that the people that love you don't even notice it, or care! You are fabulous and perfect the way you are. And please let Whitney know that she's got two Canadians backing her if she ever chooses to fight ;)

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    1. Love you! (From Handy as well...) Awww that's sweet! Haha yes, my little Handy Army! Love it! M xxx

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  6. I love your post! It's so freaking awesome of you to have the courage to tell about your hand and I admire you for doing so.

    Dont care about what other thinks about you or your hand. If people cant live with it/you, its their loss.

    "The most beautiful people I've known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths"
    - You're a beautiful person.

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  7. Love every beautiful bit of you and I know lots of others do too!

    It's nice to see you let "Handy" come out of her own "closet" and join Wegan in the sunshine where she belongs. You go girl!! ;)

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    1. Handy sure is coming out of the closet! Thank you! M x

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  8. Thank you for sharing your beautiful, inspiring story with us Megan. Your bravery puts a smile on my face. You are without a doubt giving lots of hope to everyone who reads this blog! Wegan 5ever!

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  9. I sent you a tweet in response to your second blog entry. As I stated before that you are perfectly perfect just the way YOU are. I also found this quote which explain how I completely feel about those with disabilities.

    “When you focus on someone's disability you'll overlook their abilities, beauty and uniqueness. Once you learn to accept and love them for who they are, you subconsciously learn to love yourself unconditionally.”
    ― Yvonne Pierre, The Day My Soul Cried: A Memoir

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  10. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you for being so brave and posting this, even when it was hard for you. Thank you for not giving up or letting your disability or even your sexual orientation define you. Lots of love ♥

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  11. megan You're a strong girl, and beautiful.

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  12. You are such an inspiration! Lovely post!

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  13. I'm so proud of you for finding the courage to write about and show us this part of you. It must have taken an enormous amount of inner strength for you to put your fears behind you. You are an amazing inspiration for this and by the looks of your comments you've got an awesome bunch of follows with true, loving hearts! <3 love from robyn at uncharacteristicallyrobyn.blogspot.ca <3

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  14. I think that you are an inspiration to so many people, and so brave to write about your hand! I think there will be many people in the line too if someone was to say something bad about this post or about your hand!! I would definitely be one of them! I think that your hand makes you that little bit more beautiful anyway!:) <3

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  15. I just want to throw a big bucket of love and support your way for this post. You are showing tremendous courage in opening up about this and you are truly amazing. My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years was also a premie (26 weeks) and she lost the vision in her right eye from being on high levels of oxygen (she was born in 1986 and they didn't yet realize that blasting premies full of oxygen could lead to detached retinas), and eventually had to get a prosthesis and class contact. She originally had a prosthesis that moved, but then she was in a bad car accident that did further (unrepairable) damage to the connective tissues around the prosthesis. Now she just has a basic prosthesis with very limited movement. I am fiercely protective of her about it and I second Whitney and everyone else, if anyone gives you shit about this I'll join the search party hunting them down. Thanks for sharing your story! Lots of positive vibes from Georgia! (Also, premie solidarity from Tiffany)

    :)

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  16. Megan, I adore you. I know we are so much more than our bodies and our looks--you are clearly smart, funny, kind--but my goodness, I'm stunned by your beauty in all of your pictures. And these ones are no exceptions. Thank you for sharing!!

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  17. There are many ways to be "out". All of them have the power to help others in the same situation. Thanks.

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  18. Amazing post, Megan. Truly inspirational. I've been reading this blog for almost a year and never even knew! Now I just love you guys more for it. I do have a couple questions though. I'de be interested in the "coming out" of Handy to Whit. Were you nervous what she would say/think? At what point in your relationship did you tell her, since your relationship started online?

    All the best!
    -H

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  19. You amazing,beautiful,inspiration of my life..
    Thank you..mrs.wegan <3

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  21. You are a brave girl, my dear, and beautiful, inside and out! I think that you sharing your story and your feelings behind it as you have aged is so important and has helped many...as seen via the google search key words! I adore you and love that you are so open and honest with your story! Sarah Herron inspired me on "The Bachelor," and I think it is ladies like you who make this world a stronger and better place of inspiration! :)

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  22. Well done Meg, you are so brave and courageous, we love you xx

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  23. You are so brave and beautiful.

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  25. Your article helped me to understand the topic well and I would love to share this to my friends. I also love to
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    Thank you for this and all the best.

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  26. your courage is inspirational. Stay strong. xxoo

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  27. You're awesome Megan! It's so brave of you to share this personal part of who you are and I commend you for it. What an inspiration!

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  28. truly inspiring. be interesting to know as someone myself who has a disability what Whitney thought about initialing dating someone who had a disability . was there any reservations or was she totally unfazed by it.?

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  29. you are amazing an beautiful just the way you are , i love everything about yo! Whitney is so lucky! and you are too! xoxo

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  31. You are both awesome and beautiful, inside and out.

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  32. I've lost my hand in Vietnam, I was ready to return home, Yes this unfortunate, I feel proud because you talked about this subject with confidence, without fear, but let me tell you the truth, you are very beautiful and you have a Smile wonderful and you have a wife I see the smile you a great love you lucky right I do not see the sky obstruction of you have not only see the happy wife steadfast love and wonderful smile. I wish you the best

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  33. Hi Megan,
    Just came to this article via your YouTube video and wanted to take just a little time to say how much it inspired me and resonated with me.
    I also suffer with an...ummm... unusual (?? never know the right word...lol) left arm as I was born with a small left hand with only three fingers.
    The situations you talked about - like where you place yourself in photos, worrying about the moment where people notice/if they notice, etc - are almost identical to how I act, to the point of being really quite hilarious hearing someone else describe them! I got married last year too, so the 'wedding ring on the right hand' conversation really made me laugh. Damn western traditions!! :)
    It's the first time I've ever really heard someone speak in a way in which I can relate to about my circs tho, so just wanted to say that your blog/vids about your hand are brill, you defo don't need to feel self conscious, and frankly, just that you rock!
    Matt x
    P.s. As a completely daft question, what's the longest someone has known you before they noticed? Only I'd known someone since primary school that didn't notice to I went on holiday when we were twenty, which brought home that it's probably much more noticeable to us than everyone else! (And even then, it was only because my mates were asking me for 'eight of the best' as opposed to high five/ten and she asked why we kept saying that!?!) :D

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    1. Hi Matt,

      Thank you so much for taking your time to leave a comment :) Great to know that you could relate, and it's not just me!

      Haha I also had someone who knew me for YEARS at school, and one day suddenly noticed & said "when did that happen?!".. umm.. pretty much from birth! LOL!

      Take care,
      Megan x

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  34. Hi Megan,

    Just wanted to say I think it's great that you are putting your story out their with Handy! I hope your confidence continues to grow :) - Stacey xo

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  35. (Still hiding as Anon both here and in life.)
    I think it is brave of you to show your hand, as you and Whitney are public figures. I have never been able to cope with my deafness but take heart from your story and the love that is Wegan. xx

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Thank you so much for reading our blog and taking the time to leave us a lovely comment. We read them all so keep them coming! Wegan X

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